I just want to be a professional. I couldn't live without acting.

Hollywood has unfortunately become a memory. It's nothing but a sign on the side of a hill.

I've been short all my life. And if anyone wonders what my dying wish will be, they can stop wondering. That will be easy. I'll just tell them, 'I'll have a short bier.'

John Frances, Entertainment Chair, of the Friars Club: Of all the roasts that I have produced for the Friars Club, this is the one that I am most excited about. Mickey is one of the Club's dearest friends, and we wanted to honor him in the way we know best.

Clark Gable once said to me, "'Acting school?' [If you go,] I'll kill ya!"

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

Nowadays, it is fashionable for agents to be out. When you call them, they're always "out." It's in, you see, to be out. If they're in, they're out. So, they're always out. That way, they'll be in.