If I ever complain to an agent about anything, he always has a pained look on his face, like, "How can you be so ungrateful? Why, Mick, I just named my yacht after you!"

I've been coming back like a rubber ball for years.

You always pass failure on the way to success.

It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.

Nowadays, it is fashionable for agents to be out. When you call them, they're always "out." It's in, you see, to be out. If they're in, they're out. So, they're always out. That way, they'll be in.

When I was 19 years old, I was the number one star of the world for two years. When I was 40, nobody wanted me.

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.