Hollywood has unfortunately become a memory. It's nothing but a sign on the side of a hill.

The film The Last Temptation of Christ, no matter what its defenders say, was a slap in the face to Christians everywhere.

Look, I come from vaudeville, I come from burlesque, I come from heartaches, I come from sadness, I come from gladness, I come from work and sweat and respect for the craft.

To those seniors, and especially elderly veterans like myself, I want to tell you this: You are not alone, and you having nothing to be ashamed of. If elder abuse happened to me, it can happen to anyone. I want you to know that you deserve better.

I've been short all my life. And if anyone wonders what my dying wish will be, they can stop wondering. That will be easy. I'll just tell them, 'I'll have a short bier.'

It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.