There are children born to be children, and others who must mark time till they can take their natural places as adults.

I wish I'd said it first, and I don't even know who did: The only problems that money can solve are money problems.

Good food, good sex, good digestion, good sleep: to these basic animal pleasures, man has added nothing but the good cigarette.

Neurotics dream of a good life, or a great suicide note.

Whether or not you love television, you've got to admit that it certainly loves itself.

Everybody can write; writers can't do anything else.

It's awesome to realize that if your greatest potential talent is for riding a bicycle upside down on a high wire, you will somehow discover it.