No matter how many Christmas presents you give your child, there's always that terrible moment when he's opened the very last one. That's when he expects you to say, 'Oh yes, I almost forgot,' and take him out and show him the pony.

The way the neurotic sees it: bars on his door mean that he's locked in; bars on your door mean that he's locked out.

It's terrifying to see someone inside of whom a vital spring seems to have been broken. It's particularly terrifying to see him in your mirror.

Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful.

To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of either a life-work.

My religious position: I think that God could do a lot better, and I'm willing to give Him the chance.

Most of us can easily do two things at once; what's all but impossible is to do one thing at once.