No matter how many Christmas presents you give your child, there's always that terrible moment when he's opened the very last one. That's when he expects you to say, 'Oh yes, I almost forgot,' and take him out and show him the pony.

We work for praise, and dawdle once we have it.

Life marks us all down, so it's just as well that we start out by overpricing ourselves.

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.

Suburb: a place that isn't city, isn't country, and isn't tolerable.

If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price of eggs will do as well as any other subject.

No one ever loved anyone the way that person wanted to be loved.