Neurotics are sure that no one understands them, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of either a life-work.

Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun.

People will disapprove of you if you're unhappy, or if you're happy in The Wrong Way.

A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he's always apologizing, his children are monsters.

In church, sacred music would make believers of us all — but preachers can be counted on to restore the balance.

Even in the same family, one child will always instinctively know when to ask for things, and another won't.