Healthy parakeets have the nervous energy of tennis players.

Good food, good sex, good digestion, good sleep: to these basic animal pleasures, man has added nothing but the good cigarette.

The neurotic has perfect vision in one eye, but he cannot remember which.

The hardest-learned lesson: that people have only their kind of love to give, not our kind.

Your money, or your life. We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does.

A woman will do anything to keep a pretty figure, but hardly anything to get one.

Neurotics are always looking for something new to overdo.