Healthy parakeets have the nervous energy of tennis players.

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.

With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins.

Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it.

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is.

Your money, or your life. We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does.

The neurotic is always half-drowning in anxiety, and always being half-rescued.