They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they'd only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.

The neurotic keeps minute track of his enemies; it is only his friends he is careless about.

People are like birds: on the wing, all beautiful; up close, all beady little eyes.

Neurosis is no worse than a bad cold; you ache all over, and it's made you a mess, but you won't die from it.

I'm afraid to win, and afraid to lose; I hate a draw and can't stop competing; otherwise I'm fine.

Hot dogs always seem better out than at home; so do French-fried potatoes; so do your children.

It must infuriate our children to see us always so much more forbearing with everybody else's.