I know which side my bread is buttered on: the side which falls on the carpet.

The three horrors of modern life - talk without meaning, desire without love, work without satisfaction.

To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of either a life-work.

I often pray, though I'm not really sure Anyone's listening; and I phrase it carefully, just in case He's literary.

I wish I'd said it first, and I don't even know who did: The only problems that money can solve are money problems.

When the pain is great enough, we will let anyone be doctor.

I'm afraid to win, and afraid to lose; I hate a draw and can't stop competing; otherwise I'm fine.