We wake in the night, to stereophonic silence.

What a shame that allowances have to stop with the teens: both those that are paid to us and those that are made for us.

A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he's always apologizing, his children are monsters.

I'm always there to tell people that their life is not that bad. I wish it was easy to follow that advice.

Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough.

The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn't even know they carried.

Men gossip less than women, but mean it.