Women are good listeners, but it's a waste of time telling your troubles to a man unless there's something specific you want him to do.

We cough because we can't help it, but others do it on purpose.

Boredom is often the cause of promiscuity, and always its result.

It's hard to feel middle-aged, because how can you tell how long you are going to live?

Every American child should grow up knowing a second language, preferably English.

A woman will do anything to keep a pretty figure, but hardly anything to get one.

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him.