I didn't realize how good I was with computers until I met my parents.

I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years.

I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy.

Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself.

I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.

Our fear leads us to say no all the time.

I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.