There are so many people who are clever. There are 8000 people at Princeton who are more clever than the three of us at this table. BUT, we have the ability to give something that they don't have...which is us.

A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.'

Elia Kazan. He wrote my favorite book about filmmaking, 'Elia Kazan: On Directing.' There is a thing in the book that I do every time, it's part of my production structure. He said when you're hiring an actor, ask them what draws them to the project, and don't lead them to the answer.

I shouldn't say bad things about the illiterate, though..I should write it. That way they won't find out.

You need to know what doesn't work to know what works. It's especially true in improv and stand-up.

I didn't realize how good I was with technology until I met my parents... my dad told me "You're good; you should be a computer programmer." I said, "You're bad... you should be a caveman."

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.