I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.

Sometimes when I do a joke and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, it kind of feels like I'm doing jazz. That's kinda cool because jazz is cool, but sometimes jazz sucks ... Maybe I'm the Kenny G of comedy.

I will say what I aspire to is a consistency in making films, to direct something every couple of years.

I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.

I like films that are so funny, dramatic and lifelike simultaneously, that you are laughing and cringing simultaneously all throughout the film.

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?