Eugene Mirman is the Andy Warhol of comedy. People look to him for what's next in comedy, and he emails these people back promptly. The Will to Whatevs put me in a great mood because I was laughing out loud. Alone. That's hard to do.

I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one.

You've got to remember that improvisers are writers and actors and directors all simultaneously. That's what's happening in real time because you're writing on your feet, and you are acting out the words and you are directing what the staging is. You're deciding what staging is.

Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.

You need to know what doesn't work to know what works. It's especially true in improv and stand-up.

I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.

I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy.