How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
Mike BirbigliaI drank the Kool-Aid of being a network star. Once it didn't happen, I realized it wasn't the best version of my comedy.
Mike BirbigliaI love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore!
Mike BirbigliaI'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"
Mike Birbiglia