It had that kind of open-ended fear to it - like that feeling you get when you're driving and you see a cop. And you're not speeding. You don't have drugs. But you're just thinking, I hope he doesn't notice I'm driving.

Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.

Art is socialism but life is capitalism.

People getting along doesn't sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. I don't even talk about it on stage, because it would take too long to explain.

How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.

I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching.

My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting, and then rewrite, rewrite and rewrite.