Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say "You gotta dance! you gotta dance!" And then I dance, and they're like, "Not like that!"

I think sometimes you don't understand how to convey an idea, depending on the moment you're living in.

When I was a kid I would write songs, little plays, and poetry in school. If you're an adult and you're a poet, it's all about love and pain, but if you're a kid it's, "Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?"

They really cut to the chase in the urologist's examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.

You need to know what doesn't work to know what works. It's especially true in improv and stand-up.

The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.

A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.'