They really cut to the chase in the urologist's examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.

I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.

Life is unfair and improv is a great metaphor of that.

Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.

The key is to do what you love.

I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!"

Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.