How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.

Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying..."

The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.

Essentially, retweets are like laughs.

I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself.

Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.

I have this habit of asking 'why do you want to do it?' and then interrupting them to say, 'here's why you want to do it.' Because it's in the 'yes...and' spirit [rule of improvisation].