Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?

When you're in a relationship with someone who's selfish, what keeps you in it is the fact that when they shine on you, it's this souped-up shine. And you feel like you're in the club. And you don't even know what club it is. You just know you want to stay in it.

So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000.

How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.

To succeed in comedy you ultimately have to put in the hours and get lucky - The amount of people who are able to break through is so small a fraction of the amount of people trying.

I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.

Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance.