I'm a compulsive everything.

I'm a compulsive everything.

I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.

You can express love by calling out the truth out of the situation as opposed to dancing around it.

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

I just don't give off a great first impression.

Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.