I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"

I have this habit of asking 'why do you want to do it?' and then interrupting them to say, 'here's why you want to do it.' Because it's in the 'yes...and' spirit [rule of improvisation].

Success is fleeting. It may not have to do with you but how your work is received.

People getting along doesn't sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. I don't even talk about it on stage, because it would take too long to explain.

All techniques of comedy are valid and interesting to me.

I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.

You can express love by calling out the truth out of the situation as opposed to dancing around it.