I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"

I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness.

You can express love by calling out the truth out of the situation as opposed to dancing around it.

Failure's hard. There's no way around. Bombing on stage never feels great. You feel judged, you feel alone. But then when your performance works, it's transcendent.

I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years.

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.

I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear.