A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.'

I feel like people have more in common than the news reports.

I just don't give off a great first impression.

My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.

Success is fleeting. It may not have to do with you but how your work is received.

I thought, Hey, maybe these people shouldn't be making up holidays to drink more. Maybe if they drank less they might be able to title their newspaper articles more specifically. For example, I would title this last article "Drunk Driver Hits Drunk Walker Drunkety-Drunk I'm So Drunk."

I think spending a lot of time with my mom, who's a talker and a storyteller, and my dad, who has kind of a soft-spoken, understated sense of humor, I think that's how I became what I am, which is sort of an understated storyteller.