I just don't give off a great first impression.

My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.

How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.

When I'm taking the subway to my improv shows I will be writing in my notebook different actions that I see people doing on the train whether it's eating yogurt or looking at where their stop is, or tripping or holding a baby. It's not preparing scenes and ideas as much as it is stoking your brain to think observantly. Just to place observations in your head, so that they are available somewhere.

Comedy unites, it doesn't divide!

My problem with being in New York City is that you really can't make a living as a comedian. You can, but you have to also take writing jobs, which means less stage time.

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.