Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.

I have a nut allergy. When I was at school the other children used to make me play Russian roulette but force-feeding me a packet of Revels.

Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do, he spent his whole life in the kebab business, was buried with all his equipment, probably turning in his grave.

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.

I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, "Gday Gday how you doing no worries next".