I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.

You know I used to work at Ikea, selling over 7,000 products. Give me a number between 1-7,000 I'll tell you about it. Sorry out of stock, lucky you chose that one.

It's difficult isn't it, when you're in a Mosque and everyone's praying and you really enjoy leapfrog.

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!

My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better