Incredible to think isn't it, that every single Scotsman, started off as a scotch egg. Old and gingery.

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, "Gday Gday how you doing no worries next".

So I phoned up the spiritual leader of tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out I phoned dial a lama.

The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.

I recently bought the box set of 'Doctor Who' and watched it back to back, Unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the TV!

My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better

When my daughter was born she had jaundice, she was small, round and yellow. we called her Melony.