About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard - after that he went downhill very quickly.

About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard - after that he went downhill very quickly.

You know I used to work at Ikea, selling over 7,000 products. Give me a number between 1-7,000 I'll tell you about it. Sorry out of stock, lucky you chose that one.

I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.

Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.

The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!