Alive or dead, the truth won't rest. Rise up while you can.

Most guys my age have girlfriends and drinking buddies on their speed dial. Me, I have the Memphis CDC.

You'd challenge me and lose. You know it, I know it, but you'd still do it. Sometimes your sense of honor confuses the hell out of me.

Didn't we talk about this?" "HAIL!" "That isn't an answer." I planted my hands on my hips. "Was there a reason for shoving the gummy bears off the counter? Did they tell you they were suicidal? On second thought," I raised a hand, palm out, "don't answer that. If the candy is talking, I don't want to know.

...If there’s a God, there are plenty of people who know where he is.” I shrugged, still watching the sky. ... “I just want to know that he’s there, so that I can die knowing there’s going to be someone I can punch in the mouth on the other end.

Any good Irwin can make going to the corner store for a candy bar and a Coke lood death defying and suicidal.

In my defense, the corpse was entirely unexpected.