Sometimes humanity is the reason we can't have nice things

I require something so horrifically alcoholic that it makes livers tremble with fear and run for their lives when its name is uttered.

My manners have always been the first thing to go when I get upset, and some people say that they stopped coming back a long time ago.​

Mother Nature is a freaky lady who probably created pot so she could spend all her time smoking it.

You are covered in blood," Tybalt said again, stressing the words harder this time. "It makes me tense." There was a thud as the guard hit the floor, and Tybalt returned to my side. "Wow. You must be tense a lot." He sighed. "You have no idea.

That,' he said, with almost religious fever, 'was the coolest thing you have ever done. In fact, that may have been the coolest thing you ever will do. Your entire existence has been moving toward one shining moment, George, and that was the moment when you thought, 'Hey, why don't I just go over the zombies?

I recommend Avon Skin-So-Soft. It’s a bath product. It smells like someone fed a Disney Princess through a juicer, but it works better than anything else on the market.