Whoever authorized the evolution of the spiders of Australia should be summarily dragged out into the street and shot.

I really don’t think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You don’t know where it’s been.” –Enid Healy

I would love a sandwich,' said Tybalt, with enough gravity to make it sound like a formal proclamation. Resolved: that we will have ham and cheese sandwiches.

Growing up in my family meant ambushes on your birthday, crossbows for Christmas, and games of dodge ball where the balls were occasionally rigged to explode. It also meant learning how to work your way out of a wide variety of death traps. Failure to get loose on your own could lead to missing dinner, or worse, being forced to admit that you missed dinner because your baby sister had tied you to the couch. Again.

Nothing is impossible to kill. It's just that sometimes after you kill something you have to keep shooting it until it stops moving

We are in the middle of what looks increasingly like the zombie apocalypse. Moaning people don't need help. Moaning people are intending to eat us.

Rick stared at him. "Your brother is an alien." "Yeah, but he's a cute one.