Whoever authorized the evolution of the spiders of Australia should be summarily dragged out into the street and shot.

Our story opens where countless stories have ended in the last twenty-six years: with an idiot -- in this case, my brother, Shaun -- deciding it would be a good idea to go out and poke a zombie with a stick to see what happens.

It’s not that Etienne dislikes Tybalt. Etienne just dislikes chaos, and Tybalt causes almost as much commotion as I do. Sometimes more, when he really sets his mind to it, although my chaos is a little more destructive, if I do say so myself.

...although I had to admit a certain affection for the Mattel booth advertising Urban Survival Barbie, now with her own Machete and blood testing unit.

The world is out of order. It's been broken since you came.

His idea of traffic safety is going too fast for the cops to catch up.

Dramatic exits are the last refuge of the infantile personality