If I did better... I'd be God.

Life is a series of embarrassing moments which leave you feeling alone in your confusion and shame

If I did better... I'd be God.

I have a fantastic method for anti-ageing. It's eating. Plumps out your skin beautifully.

I'm very much in denial that I can't dance. I really go for it, which is almost more embarrassing.

You need to know that even as life develops in superficially disappointing ways, there is still fun to be had.

I am not married, no. I wasn't really into the notion when I was younger, but now I think a proposal is the ultimate romantic gesture.