Life is a series of embarrassing moments which leave you feeling alone in your confusion and shame

No blessing goes uncontested. It will take a long time to get your dream.

Get me a skinny frappuccino. I have no idea what that is - I would like to think you would be presented with a tiny Italian man.

I'll always have to force myself to see the positive, because I'm wired badly, I'd say. I'm just naturally a bit under, a bit depressed.

I am not married, no. I wasn't really into the notion when I was younger, but now I think a proposal is the ultimate romantic gesture.

I have written the only diet book that I believe needs to exist, and here it is: CHAPTER ONE: Eat a bit less. CHAPTER TWO: Move about a bit more. THE END.

I have a fantastic method for anti-ageing. It's eating. Plumps out your skin beautifully.