I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'

So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.

I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow anything. Hey, how about some celery? Plus, if I tore your legs off, you would look like snowmen.

Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I saw a guy juggling chain saws, it was cool, unless something needed to be sawed down, then it's annoying.

I had my palm read. I wrote something on it first to see if she would read that too.