I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station?

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk louder, then!"

Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else.

I had a Velcro wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the sound of my addiction.