Every picture of you is when you were younger.

I have an idea for sweatshops: air conditioning! That's simple. 14 year old boys working twelve hour days? "Yeah, but they're comfortable!"

I tried to freshen up a room, so I held a Certs in front of a fan.

2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this." Who would make their plants hard to reach? That seems so very mean. I know you need water, but I'm going to make you hard to reach. "Think like a cactus!"

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?