I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.

I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.

If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.

I read that MTV's Real World got 40,000 applications. That's amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Imagine if the headless horseman had a headless horse. That would be chaos. I would think that if you were the headless horseman's horse, you would be very confused. "I don't think this dude can see."

I can't wait to get off the stage, because I've got some LifeSavers in my pocket and pineapple is next!