Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two to create the ultimate kite-flying experience.
Mitch HedbergOnions make me sad, a lot of people don't realize that. When I'm cutting onions, I'm sad. Because the plight of onions, it's sad. But people don't realize I'm actually crying - they think I'm just reacting.
Mitch HedbergI like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
Mitch Hedberg