I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow anything. Hey, how about some celery? Plus, if I tore your legs off, you would look like snowmen.

How does a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's magical. There must be some sesame seed glue out there. Either that or they're adhesive on one side. Peel off the backing, place it on the bun.

Last time I called shotgun we had rented a limo, so I messed up!

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.