A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

People think I'm into sports because I'm a man. But I'm not into sports. I like Gatorade, but that's about as far as it goes. By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and play basketball to enjoy Gatorade. You can just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgets about this demographic!

I'm into carpooling, because sometimes my car gets hot and needs to refresh itself.

I hate dreaming because when you want to sleep, you want to sleep. Dreaming is work. Next thing you know, I have to build a go-cart with my ex-landlord.

If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!"

I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But if the gas tank says "E", I get all cocky - "I've got this one, don't worry." So I get out the toolbox AKA wallet.