A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage.

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, "I can't knit, get this away from me!"

I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it.

I have no problem not listening to the Temptations.

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

My sister Wendy has a husband and two children, and they have a family photo on top of the VCR, where they're all looking slightly to the left. As though something is going on over there! I guess something happened over to the left that made everybody happy! Except my sister is cross-eyed, so she can't quite pull it off. One eye is right-on.