A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage.

I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.

Then let's print up some flyers!

I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick. That would be convenient. I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, "Doesn't wine give you a headache?" "Yeah, eventually, but the first and the middle part are amazing!"

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.