I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.

If you are flammable and have legs, you are not blocking a fire exit.

I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.

I wish they made fajita cologne, because that stuff smells good. What's that you're wearing? That's sizzlin'!

I don't want to have my face on the cover of a Wheaties box. I wanna have my face on the cover of a Rice Krispies box. "Snap, Krackle, Mitch and Pop"!

Incubated. And then raised. And then beheaded. And then plucked. And then cut up. And then put on a grill. And then put on a bun. Damn, it's gonna take a while. I don't have time. Scrambled!

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.