I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.

People on the 14th floor, you know what floor you’re really on.

I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.

I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'

I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with 555.