When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.

I had my palm read. I wrote something on it first to see if she would read that too.

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.

When you go to a bar that has a black light, everybody looks cool. Except for me, because I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out.

I like it when you buy something and pay with a credit card, they put your credit card on the receipt, but only the last four numbers. Aha! I'm really good at guessing twelve numbers. I can't guess 16 numbers, so thanks for the assistance!

I want to ride in a cold air balloon. "This isn't going anywhere!"