I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.

A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

People on the 14th floor, you know what floor you’re really on.

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out.