As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to pretend that I got there accidentally. "How the hell did I get up here? I guess I have to slide down. Whee!" That's what you say when you're having fun. You refer to yourself and some other people.

I had the cab driver drive me here backwards, and the dude owed me $27.50.

I met the girl who works at the Doubletree front desk, she gave me her number. It's ZERO. I tried to call from here, some other woman answered. "You sound older!"

I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in threes. He has three apples left, I guess I can't have one. I wouldn't want to screw up his practice routine.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying.