Say, I was on The Craig Kilbourne Show and the next day I flew to Minneapolis. I was at the airport and a guy came up. He said, 'Dude, I saw you on TV last night.' But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good, he just confirmed that I was on television. So I turned my head away from him for about a minute, then I turned it back. I said, 'Dude, I saw you at the airport about a minute ago. And you were good.'

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.

I mumble a lot when im off stage, so a lot of times when im with a friend i'll say something and he'll be like what, and i'll say it again and he'll be like what, and i'll say it again and he'll still be like what, so now he's got me yellin. Man that tree is far away

I'm not into sports. I mean...I like Gatorade, but that's as far as it goes.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.