I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.

I had to take a physical to do this show. They had a lot of weird questions like, "Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?"

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I can read minds, but I'm illiterate.

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who has AIDS?". He says, "No". I say, "Cool, because you know me."