I make myself a bowl of instant oatmeal, and then I don't do anything for an hour. Why do I need the instant oatmeal? I could get the regular oatmeal and feel productive.
Mitch HedbergI want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".
Mitch HedbergThe depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Mitch Hedberg