I like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing.

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill.

I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work'.

A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage.

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!