I don't think everyone should vote. If you have to be dragged into the polls, carried into the polls and smelling salts have to be used, you probably shouldn't be voting. However, we shouldn't be putting up barriers to voting that target certain groups.

I wish I had played team sports. I think every kid should. Teamwork builds character - teaches people about leadership and cooperation.

As the great philosopher George Santayana would have said, 'those who cannot remember the past . . . should simply read Jan Van Meter's Tippecanoe and Tyler Too.' Van Meter's greatest hits collection of slogans is the catchiest ever retelling of American history. It's like the greatest minds of Madison Avenue sat down to write a history book. They don't make sound bites like they used to!

Yes, I still love 'South Park,' but I also love morning TV now.

I mean, you're gonna be left behind if you don't appreciate the genius that is Meredith Vieira.

I'd rather call myself a mischief-maker, an imp, rather than a satirist. Satirist sounds so self important. Plus no one is calling himself an imp right now. It makes me feel special.

It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.